A somewhat average year, this will probably be a long blog

I love how much things are different since my first blog post, which by the way is not my first post ever, because a lot of them I deleted back then!
But the first one that is there now, it describes perfectly how I was feeling at the time, and I wont delete it, it reminds me of how much I've changed!
I'm so glad all that's over now.
It's rather a shame it took me a whole year though right?
This year has gone so quick for me, but not because 'time flies when you're having fun'. No way.
I feel like I've been somewhat dead this year, but my outward happiness towards friends and family i guess proves that if you pretend you're over something, you eventually do get over it.

I cried far to much this year over people who wouldn't cry over me,
I realised it's easier to live without my father. I know he loves me, he loves me a lot. I also know that you can't love others when you don't love yourself.
I definately learned that for myself this year, and I pushed a lot of people away in the process.
I realised recently that families fuck up. I thought I'd be fine without dad because I had mum and my brothers and my stepdad. It turns out I might not have them all together for very long either.

But I'm thinking the biggest thing I learned was to never load your whole dependence onto one person, even if you think they're your best friend, and EVEN if they load you with more responsibility than you could ever imagine. That person will leave. And they sure as hell don't look the fuck back.

Anyway, back to my shit year.
Looking back, it really was pretty bad, but at least my friends and family are here for me even without knowing what my stupid problems are!